The Battle of Holland Farm or the Battle of Lee's Dice

As some of you may be already aware at Salute this year Mike from MiniStories asked Battleaxe to paint up a ACW train from Redout Minis, pics here. Well the postage to Holland worked out to £47, so Mike after he'd nearly had a heart attck over the postage costs, arranged with his Mrs to visit their family over here in Blighty, so as Mike was coming to Gravesend to pick the train up, the least we could do was put on a game for him!!
BigLee has already posted his tale of woe, from now on, well in this post anyway, he shall be known as PoorLee! I've never ever seen such bad dice rolling, if you thought you've had a bad dice game, just double, no triple maybe even quadruple it and you can match PoorLee's rolls in this game.

The initial set up, Union on the left, the Rebs on the right.

Mike commanded the right of the Reb line while Dave was on the left.

PoorLee ( he won't be smiling for long), commanded the Union left opposite Mike, 

while Richard faced Dave. Now what did I command you maybe wondering.

Sod all is the answer!!

I was at a wedding the day before and didn't expect to make it back for the start of the game, which I did, through lots of bribery and the promise of doing the washing up!

Infact I didn't even know what side I'd be on???

Dave's troops all waiting in column for the start of the game. We diced for the start and the Rebs won, which gave them a bonus as they were ordered to attack the Union, who just had to hold on.

Richard's command, they'll probably defend that hill, well I would?

Before the game Mike complained that his dice rolling was usually crap, and proved himself right by throwing a 1 with his first die, no move for that brigade then!!

A view up the table showing most of the Reb column's charging forward.

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As luck would have it, after the Rebs first turn, they got some reinforcements on, two units of Cavalry. I thought they were my command, how wrong was I?

Rich does indeed take the position on the hill, the Union guns should start 

to do some damage pretty soon??

Hello, what's all this then, "Tis a boat" shouted Postie. The Union's reinforcements. 

The Sea Witch with a small brigade of Marines

Dave takes Holland Farm with his Cavalry, and forces Richard to change his plans.

Mikes starts to move towards the hill, while PoorLee tries to get into a defensive position.

The Face-off!

Aha another boat, but this boats not a boat it's an Ironclad the CSS Atlanta.

Unfortunately I didn't get a pic of PoorLee's face, but it was a classic.

After loads of bad die rolls PoorLee managed to get his artillery up on the hill ready for Mike's attack.

This is gonna hurt, well it would have done if PoorLee wasn't throwing the dice!! he he!

Another boat turns up, the US Cricket, know the moaning started, how come they get an

 Ironclad and we get two crappy wooden boats!!!

I don't need to tell you who said that, do I?
he's big and his name rhymes with wee?

Dave takes a risk, and dismounts one of his Cavalry on the flank of Richard's artillery, while continuing to move around the flank with the other.

There was raucous laughter from the Rebs and lots more whining from the Union side, when 

Postie placed the next Reb ship on the table, its only a Monitor!!!! The CSS General Lee. 

Get in there!!!!

In the centre left of the table Rich pushed forward, but was seriously outnumbered.

He also charged the dis-mounted Cavalry with his Brigade, and caused them

 to go worn, not good for the Rebs!!

A great pic, you can clearly see the Union could well be in for a hard slog!

Rich gets some reinforcements, I did think they were my troops, but I was wrong godammit! 

And when the hell am I gonna take part in this bloody game!!

Two units of Union Cavalry take to the field, at first Rich was undecided in which direction to send them, in the end he sent both off towards the woods in the centre of the table.

At last I finally get some troops on the table, I've only been watching the others

 play for for 5 bloody hours, yes 5 fecking hours!!!! Doesn't Postie know the trouble I 

got myself into getting to this game on time!!!

I'm a very pi$$ed off Confederate now.

PoorLee tucks into the only good thing that came out of the game for him, a giant Jam Doughnut!

Rich gives fire and our, (I can say our now??) unit on the road gets a red spent marker, that's not good!

There's a big bash up in the woods

Mike charges PoorLee's troops in front of the hill.

PoorLee's dice roll were truly disastrous, the Union rout back through the artillery.

Just look at that moosh! ha ha!

Dave moves his Rebs around the flank of Richard's infantry in the centre bottom, but forgets to refuse his flank , leaving it open for Richard to try and take advantage of. On PoorLee's hill centre top, Mike carried on his charge and captures two of PoorLee's artillery, PoorLee threw a 1 to Mike's 10! and to make matters even worse, PoorLee dice deserted him again as he then failed his morale for the previous routed unit which then ran off table

Dave charged Richard's artillery with the remnants of his Cavalry, Rich threw well but not as well as Dave, the first artillery piece was captured, Dave then followed through and captured the next piece, things were looking good and I hadn't thrown a dice in anger........yet!

This was the icing on the cake, PoorLee finally had Mike Ironclad where he wanted it, 4 shots at the Ironclad, he needed a 6 or over to inflict some damage, he threw 3 1's and a 5. It was about now that we all started to feel a little sorry for the hapless Reject, his partner Richard on the other hand swore something like "Oh for fecks sake Lee!!!" Rich usually doesn't swear he's normally very calm and collected, but PoorLee had finally sent him over the edge! And here's the icing,  Mike fired and blew up PoorLee's Paddle Steamer!

 A dejected Reject.

Look! I moved some troops!

Rich charged off the hill, straight into Dave's flank and threw a hell of a lot better than his chum two photos up, who was seen throwing dice for no reason at all, dribbling and muttering to himself in the corner.

He routed the unit and looked pretty strong in the centre, until......

I changed formation, which meant his two units know faced 5 fresh Reb brigades, his

 position was untenable. I actually got to throw a dice, I fired at Richard's brigade with my very large 12 stand brigade, after all the pi$$ taking of PoorLee's dice roll's I very deservedly threw a 1 myself, much to everyone else's merriment!!

And there the game was called

The Confederates had won 25-21 on points, which was a lot closer than we all thought.

For his valiant efforts in holding off the marauding Rebs but mainly for having to put up with 

 PoorLee's abysmal dice rolling exploits, Richard was awarded the Reject Medal of Honour, which

 is usually only given out during Napoleonic games!

Well done Rich!